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Open Marriage

dom_husband Offline
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Post: #1
Open Marriage

So this is new: Wife caught me playing online and said she wanted an open relationship. the logic is that even though I don't meet anyone I might at some point so she should be able to as well. Hard to fault the logic.

We have rules: nobody the other knows; not in our house; safe at all times. We don't have to talk about it and neither has the right to pry.

Scary and liberating (we've been fucking like rabbits since). She will likely do it when away for work - all the girls know cock is always available. I joined a site and have a date for Monday.

Anyone know the best way to stop this becoming a jealousy thing that rips us apart?

Carpe Noctim 
09 Aug 2018 09:37
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Voshigirl Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Open Marriage

Jealousy is an emotion very hard to control. Not talking about it may only make it worse. Only you can find a solution that works for you. We have achieved it by sharing our stories. That said we rarely play without the other in the room.

Please read my BIO.
09 Aug 2018 14:22
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freddy Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Open Marriage

Here's an idea DH,
Don't do it.
If you love that woman the way you are meant to love that
woman; you would not want to share her with anyone.
Why take the chance on ruining your marriage?

If on the other hand your love and devotion
isn't that deep....I

[Names corrected - moderator]
(This post was last modified: 10 Aug 2018 19:14 by Hovis.)
09 Aug 2018 17:43
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Diamond123 Online
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Post: #4
RE: Open Marriage

My reaction is along the lines of Freddy

If you have raised the issue of jealousy then it will be an issue and you are probably not ready for an open relationship

Just my opinion, you don't need to accept it

If you don't try it how do you know you don't like it?
09 Aug 2018 17:55
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dom_husband Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Open Marriage

Thanks for all your input. And again just to be clear - I am completely smitten with her and I don't want to share her with anyone. I am a veteran of online flirting - some of you have had long sessions with me in Chat on here - but I have never intended to meet anyone and I've never been unfaithful to her. I see it as completely separate.

However, she does not and has reasoned that firstly cybersex is just as unfaithful as real-life sex; you can debate that but it hardly matters if that's the way she feels about it. Secondly her reasoning is that if I am being unfaithful already then she has the right to be too. She is a beautiful confident powerful career woman and everywhere she goes it's an option (as it is for many of you I'm sure) and she has said that she will now take advantage of that.

It may seem childish but Monday is me getting my retaliation in first

Carpe Noctim 
(This post was last modified: 10 Aug 2018 19:15 by Hovis.)
10 Aug 2018 07:57
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Lady L Online
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Post: #6
RE: Open Marriage

Oh DH, it seems like a risky game to me!

She was obviously hurt when she caught you "cheating" online. To say she now wants an open relationship and the freedom to physically cheat does seem to be a knee jerk reaction from someone who'd shown no previous intention to cheat.

Is she now testing your loyalty to her, to see if you'd go through with it?

Maybe it would be wise to put your "date" on hold on Monday and discuss in more detail where your marriage goes from here. I suspect jealous feelings will arise for both of you.

I can't say that I have any experience on the subject, other than the online "cheating" part - it is a huge grey area and I'm not totally convinced anyway.

Hope you come to an arrangement that suits you both without damaging your relationship.
(This post was last modified: 10 Aug 2018 11:04 by Lady L.)
10 Aug 2018 11:03
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sensualguy58 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Open Marriage

(09 Aug 2018 17:43)freddy Wrote:  Here's an idea DH,
Don't do it.
If you love that woman the way you are meant to love that
woman; you would not want to share her with anyone.
Why take the chance on ruining your marriage?

If on the other handt your love and devotion
isn't that deep....
I disagree. Having been in an open relationship for a couple of years, if your relationship is strong then you can trust your partner regardless so should not get jealous. Of course it is in some people's make up and they will anyway. In my case we agreed to discuss who we met and what happened sexually in detail and use that as a post meet fuck turn on. The trouble is that it is not for everyone and there is no way to tell. Same with swinging. It is not just about how much time you spend with someone else, but about how much time you spend looking for them.
(This post was last modified: 10 Aug 2018 19:16 by Hovis.)
10 Aug 2018 17:20
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Hovis Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Open Marriage

DH you seem to be in a bit of a pickle here, I would talk this through with her, trying not to spiral into an argument. Don't make promises you cannot keep and be totally truthful with her.

Getting naughtier by the day
10 Aug 2018 19:32
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dom_husband Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Open Marriage

Talked it through a few times now. We both feel liberated by the freedom and secure that we'll keep what we've got.

Carpe Noctim 
Yesterday 15:44
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Voshigirl Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Open Marriage

DH. I hope this works out for you, please continue to be totally honest with her, lies and deceit I think are the poison that is your greatest danger, not the sex outside your relationship.

Please read my BIO.
Yesterday 19:11
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