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Help needed...

cueball Offline
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Post: #1
Help needed...

Here is a question to all.

I have started a new relationship with an amazing woman. It has taken me a long time to find her, but now I have, my life is complete!

We have only been seeing each other for a couple of months, but it feels like we have known each other our whole lives. We are both 'damaged' after coming out of very difficult relationships in the past. I have moved faster through this than she has and she is still very fragile. 

Over the weekend, we were unexplainably unfriended from facebook, and therefore messenger, where we chat a lot (we both have busy work schedules). This has caused her a lot of distress, I think we are slowly getting back on track now, after a very stressfully few days for both of us.



We have had sex several times and discussed our lives for the future. There is no doubt in my mind that she is the one for me, I don't know what else to do to show her I am not going to leave her. 

My question is therefore twofold:
1. Has anyone else had this problem with facebook?
2. Can anyone offer suggestions as to how I can reinforce our bond? She finds trust a big issue and I am aware that at the moment my words only go so far. 
25 Jul 2018 07:06
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Diamond123 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Help needed...

First of all congratulations I hope you both find the happiness you need

1. Not specifically but it's a computer system like any other and prone to things not working. You really need another 'emergency' way of contacting each other. Facebook can and does fail

2. Trust can take a long time. But there is no time limit here. All you can do is be there for her, listen to her, reassure her. Don't push her, let her dictate what happens when

If you don't try it how do you know you don't like it?
25 Jul 2018 07:50
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cueball Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Help needed...

Thanks Diamond,

We do have each others mobile numbers but I think it was the shock of not being friends on facebook that started it. She texted me to tell me what had happened and I rectified the problem immediately.
We had been doing very well on the trust front. I have been to her house, her sanctuary as she called it. We have talked about our innermost secrets and I am on the ball with the reassurance. The relationship seems to have moved back a pace. I don't want to push her in any way, but I am a bit of a romantic and like to tell her that I love her. This seems to be a tricky point at the moment. We have told each other that we love one another, but our messages are a bit more formal at the moment.
We haven't told anyone about us yet and I do find it had to gauge what to do, so shaing with the forum in a anonymous way seems to be the only way to get advice!
25 Jul 2018 08:01
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Diamond123 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Help needed...

All relationships are tricky and have their ups and downs. Just carry on as you were and let her relax in her own time

Moved to the relationships forum btw

Just checked and yes there is a unfriend bug in Facebook. Search for "Facebook unfriend bug" and you'll find it has happened to quite a few people, and usually to the people they have most recently added or chat to most

If you don't try it how do you know you don't like it?
(This post was last modified: 25 Jul 2018 08:22 by Diamond123.)
25 Jul 2018 08:17
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cueball Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Help needed...

They do. I find it hard at the moment due to my past relationship woes. I think this was our first blip. Would have been easier to deal with if it had come a few months down the line when we would have been more secure, but there you go!
25 Jul 2018 08:25
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Diamond123 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Help needed...

They always happen at the worst time but working through things like this will make your relationship stronger

If you don't try it how do you know you don't like it?
25 Jul 2018 08:30
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cueball Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Help needed...

I hadn't thought of it like that. We have been messaging this morning, so I think the worst is behind us...
25 Jul 2018 08:53
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Diamond123 Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Help needed...

Just keep talking and keep listening

That's probably good advice for any relationship

If you don't try it how do you know you don't like it?
25 Jul 2018 09:14
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cueball Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Help needed...

Thanks Diamond, you have been a great help.
25 Jul 2018 09:28
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kingDoms_sub Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Help needed...

Aww cueball that's lovely, you sound smitten! Don't know much about Facebook but sounds like you're doing all the right things x

(25 Jul 2018 09:14)Diamond123 Wrote:  Just keep talking and keep listening

That's probably good advice for any relationship
100%

Heart
(This post was last modified: 25 Jul 2018 09:40 by kingDoms_sub.)
25 Jul 2018 09:39
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