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Differing sex drives

Broken Halo Offline
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Post: #1
Differing sex drives

Just wondering how you all combat / deal with differing sex drives, if it something you have come across?

Obviously masturbation , but that can be quite cold and clinical almost? If you and your partner love each other but are just not compatible sexually - how do you cope? 

BH
(This post was last modified: 31 Jan 2018 07:52 by Broken Halo.)
31 Jan 2018 07:50
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Jb6969 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Differing sex drives

This is the exact reason I'm here. Smile

Was chatting with KDS about it too... Absolutely love my wife to bits, we're best mates (with benefits), been together for years and I could not imagine ever being with anyone else. However, we're in different libraries never mind "not on the same page" when it comes to sexual desire.

Don't get me wrong, we have what is probably a very good sex life. When she is in the mood wow she ticks the boxes!! Dirty talk, sexy lingerie and outfits, roleplay, and write simply is a great fuck lol. It's just that if do that the Times a day whereas she is one a week at best.

So yeah... masturbation has its place but as you say it can become a bit 'one sided'. I get some kicks on here from the forums and chatting with others both sexually and otherwise. Like to share pics and the thought of people checking me out is a turn on. Occasionally do a spot of camming online too and with some closer online friends one on one. I guess each strategy is going to be different, I've convinced myself that some "cheating" online isn't really cheating and doesn't hurt anyone. As long as my wonderful wife doesn't find out lol. I suspect her view would be slightly different.
31 Jan 2018 08:01
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F6C Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Differing sex drives

I'm lucky in that my wife and I have very similar sex drives
31 Jan 2018 11:28
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kingDoms_sub Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Differing sex drives

Ours fluctuates although it's in a good place right now, pretty frequent and we mostly seem to be on the same schedule with it! But it's not always been like that haha.

Heart
31 Jan 2018 12:17
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yurigagarin Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Differing sex drives

Well I for one think BH has come up with a really interesting thread, which hopefully will encourage lots of different and thought provoking replies from people.

Time to bare my soul and tell you about me!

I'm like JB, I have a wonderful wife of 41 years, she is my best friend, my soulmate,my companion and guide through good times and bad, and the one person I want to spend the rest of my days with. The bad news is that sexual relations between us have been non existant for a long time now.
Not even a fumble these days unfortunately! With the help of two very good friends on the forum I've tried lots of ideas to try and re-kindle her interest, but all to no avail. But it is what it is and I will have to accept things as they are. 

So how do I cope ?  Well since discovering the internet, I've enjoyed myself with online porn, mainly free sites, but I have bought pics and videos on occasion too. And then I discovered UKSF, which in hindsight was probably a bad move as it seems to made me hornier! But I must confess I do like it here a lot! There are all manner of interesting people sharing stories, beautiful pictures to ogle over, and  many good friends to speak with, both in the chat room and by PM's.

So basically, that's the way I've learned to cope with my own sexual needs and desires, so it's the internet for me, and if the forum members will put up with me I'd love nothing more than to stay and enjoy UKSF, until eventually it becomes time to wheel me off to the funny farm  for good!
I personally would not want to go anywhere else!

'There are no strangers on this forum, just sexy friends you have yet to chat with '
(This post was last modified: 31 Jan 2018 12:56 by yurigagarin.)
31 Jan 2018 12:26
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chidds01234 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Differing sex drives

I had to answer this subject.  My wife and I have been married for 50 years and she is very good in all avenues except sex.  She is suffering from rheumatoid arthritis and is not interested in any sex whatsoever.  She is prudish and complains when I look at porn on the internet, and she is ultra religeous.  This has all happened in the last 28 years, in which time I have not even had many kisses. never mind a fumble or touch (Except when she wants her back scratched).  So I have gone elsewhere for sex and I now enjoy plenty of sex outside the marriage.  I enjoy much younger women, most of my associations are with women less than half my age, and I have enjoyed many women and really had a good time. 

Michael, Mature Male Mobile Masseur for Ladies
31 Jan 2018 17:45
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Broken Halo Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Differing sex drives

I adore my partner, soulmate and husband to be. He knows I'm on here, sometimes I show him posts and we discuss them. We have a very openly sexual relationship and discuss all sorts.

He had a very frigid ex wife and got sex infrequently, at best. He was a Dom and stopped that when he met her but he yearned for it and when their marriage fell apart - he sought someone to have a kinky relationship with. Sadly for him he found me! He opened up in me the fact that I am naturally submissive and yearn to be dominated - and that was what he planned with me. Then he fell in love with me and not only could he not dominate me but he realised he wanted to experience submission too!

That made things awkward as I now struggle to become fully aroused in vanilla sex - although I enjoy it massively! My biggest problem is the nights we don't have sex , he lies there cuddling me and I long to be touched, but he kisses me goodnight and goes to sleep. It's not every night - sometimes we make love every other day and sometimes it's once or twice a week. However , I could cope with 2/3 times a day, it never feels enough? I try to be less needy and rein myself in and I know it must be tough for him going from someone like his ex to me?

I love him to death but I don't want vanilla, sporadic sex Sad
31 Jan 2018 19:01
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P1nkPerversion Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Differing sex drives

You know, it's always sad to read about 'dry' relationships where one side is so obviously unfulfilled sexually.
But actually, reading these, I'm feeling a lot of emotions and I'm, surprisingly, jealous.
I was in that situation but on top, we had a lot of resentment and argument.
So, yes I met someone who brought amazing sex back into my life, yes I quickly fell in love with her but also, I left my wife of 28 years and it nearly killed us both I think. It was awful because we still loved each other and I tore it apart, basically for sex.
So 5 years on, I am still nuts about my partner but the sex is 20% of what it was and yes, I still miss my wife. I don't think I'll ever get over her. The ironic thing is, I'm still just about a once a week guy, just like I used to be! True, the quality is miles better but I still want so much more.
So what am I saying at 3:40am, just that if you still love each other and can find a way to meet your needs, life is still good.
16 Mar 2018 03:42
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Maurice Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Differing sex drives

Sorry PP, I had a bit of a chortle when I read your post when you said you were "Jealous". No, not in a nasty way but... well... I last had a sexual encounter back in July 2017. the one before that was 2006. Those were both with men. The last time I was with a woman was in the mid 1990s so Yes, I do get regular sex, every 10 years or so. You have no idea how much I'm looking forwards to 2027. Everything else has been on my own in the privacy of my own bedroom.
This is probably why I've possibly come across as a bit desperate, inexperienced and unsure of what I'm looking for
It saddens me somewhat that my diabetes has rendered me unable to do my bit, but although I'm now unable to give, I can still receive. (no Hovis, this aint an ad Smile )
As I said in the chatroom some days ago, whilst suffering a dose of gout in me right hand, at least I was able to stay faithful to my left.
16 Mar 2018 08:18
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P1nkPerversion Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Differing sex drives

Hee hee, well that's perhaps not what I'm (slightly) jealous of Maurice. No, it's having the loving life partner who you've lived with for decades (as I did) and will continue to, but also the thrill of some strange on the side.
I'm not complaining, I have a new life partner Smile
Although as I say, the level of sex has dropped alarmingly, I don't get any Strange (apart from the Forum Fun of course) and I miss my wife....
pp.
16 Mar 2018 11:36
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