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A man walks into a bar

amanda0158 Offline
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Post: #1
A man walks into a bar

Hi all

So I've been chatting to a nice lad on here and we got talking about "how to approach women" especially if it was in a bar/pub and how I would react and do I have any tips.

Well most lads overthink the situation in terms of how to walk up to a women as well as what to talk about when they do.

In my experience when a lad approaches me, being confident is key as well as being themselves and not too cocky either.

He also mentioned about rejection and how it hurts when this happens and my response to this is move on as you may not know the reason for the rejection.

Also that women doesn't know you so she doesn't have to justify herself to you and vice versa.

Anyway just my experience on the subject.

Does any lads or women want to add their experiences or tips on this?

A X

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21 Nov 2017 03:03
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Hovis Offline
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Post: #2
RE: A man walks into a bar

Very interesting thread Mandy, I've never approached a woman in this way to afraid I guess. I've witnessed friends be told to get lost followed by laughter.

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21 Nov 2017 06:26
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amanda0158 Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

(21 Nov 2017 06:26)Hovis Wrote:  Very interesting thread Mandy,  I've never approached a woman in this way to afraid I guess.  I've witnessed friends be told to get lost followed by laughter.
I know us women sometimes can be cruel but it's just our defence mechanism to weed out the needy, but deep down I think we crave dominance and if he would of stuck at it and probably not reacted then maybe he could of been in with a chance Smile

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21 Nov 2017 10:14
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Wolfman Offline
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Post: #4
RE: A man walks into a bar

I certainly need a bit of dutch courage lol

im useless, and women are usually in packs

i do have female friends in my social circle, so its awkward for me to go and approach women

im a shy old wolf at heart!
21 Nov 2017 10:41
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amanda0158 Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

(21 Nov 2017 10:41)Wolfman Wrote:  I certainly need a bit of dutch courage lol

im useless, and women are usually in packs

i do have female friends in my social circle, so its awkward for me to go and approach women

im a shy old wolf at heart!
haha

The way to look at it is that you don't know her and you have nothing to lose if you get rejected.

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21 Nov 2017 10:43
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chidds01234 Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

(21 Nov 2017 10:43)amanda0158 Wrote:  
(21 Nov 2017 10:41)Wolfman Wrote:  I certainly need a bit of dutch courage lol

im useless, and women are usually in packs

i do have female friends in my social circle, so its awkward for me to go and approach women

im a shy old wolf at heart!
haha

The way to look at it is that you don't know her and you have nothing to lose if you get rejected.

I agree with that point.  If you don't try, you will never get anywhere.  I have been rejected dozens of times, especially in bars, but I have never let that put me off.  Remember.  Humour always wins out over looks, and you can be old and overweight like me, but if you chance your arm you may get further than you think.

Michael, Mature Male Mobile Masseur for Ladies
21 Nov 2017 11:19
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Harley Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

Coincidently, I had a similar conversation with a mates friend over the weekend.

They told me they wouldn't approach women anymore and it's not the first time I've heard that from a guy. This bloke in particular said there were many reasons, such as;
It's harder to tell if a woman is single nowadays which can be the first initial knock back (e.g. rings doesn't seem to indicate much now).
He's abit older now, 30 plus, so when he's out with his mates it's for a laugh, not to crack on.
If he wanted to find someone (more than just a fuck) he wouldnt look for them on a night out.
Finally, he said nowadays, surely it's just as much for women to try it on as men?

Now is that lazy? Or does he have some good points?

Interesting conversation anyway. I've probably deviated from the point of the thread somewhat now and apologies if so!

Possibly a tip (albeit a bit schoolish): my mate said she goes up to blokes, straight off asks if they're single, if they say no she acts like she was asking for a mate, if they say yes she sees it as a window.

I hate it when I see a guy humiliated for trying though. I'm more likely to give someone the time of day if they're a gent rather than a cocky prick. Even if I don't fancy them, there's no reason why we can't all talk to each other like human beings.

'Sex is an emotion in motion.' - Mae West 
21 Nov 2017 11:25
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amanda0158 Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

(21 Nov 2017 11:25)Harley Wrote:  Coincidently, I had a similar conversation with a mates friend over the weekend.

They told me they wouldn't approach women anymore and it's not the first time I've heard that from a guy. This bloke in particular said there were many reasons, such as;
It's harder to tell if a woman is single nowadays which can be the first initial knock back (e.g. rings doesn't seem to indicate much now).
He's abit older now, 30 plus, so when he's out with his mates it's for a laugh, not to crack on.
If he wanted to find someone (more than just a fuck) he wouldnt look for them on a night out.
Finally, he said nowadays, surely it's just as much for women to try it on as men?

Now is that lazy? Or does he have some good points?

Interesting conversation anyway. I've probably deviated from the point of the thread somewhat now and apologies if so!

Possibly a tip (albeit a bit schoolish): my mate said she goes up to blokes, straight off asks if they're single, if they say no she acts like she was asking for a mate, if they say yes she sees it as a window.

I hate it when I see a guy humiliated for trying though. I'm more likely to give someone the time of day if they're a gent rather than a cocky prick. Even if I don't fancy them, there's no reason why we can't all talk to each other like human beings.
Hi Harley

No not at all you're not deviating away from the thread, I think most of what you're saying is relevant.

Most women automatically think when a lad walks up to them they're only after one thing.

Going in and asking if they're single first off is definitely a no no.
It's better to strike up a conversation in a non sexual way first and see where it leads too, women put up their guards when lads approach them as you probably know that, If I can sense if a lad is confident and not a player then I'm most likely to talk to them.

We should be able to walk upto strangers and strike up a conversation, we're all human at the end of the day.

I'm on Chat Scout: https://chatscout.co.uk/amanda0158
21 Nov 2017 11:36
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Mr dominant Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

This is a interesting thread.

From my own perspective it’s quite difficult to approach women on a night out since most women are in groups and even if you do get a chance to strike up a conversation the friends are always on the lookout trying to protect their friends.

Which is absolutely fair and understandable.

I am generally shy so I find it difficult to walk up and ask and strike up a conversation with somebody in a pub I have had mates telling me the girl I have talked to likes me but I don’t understand signals or believe them when they tell me my friends I believe there just winding me up.

I have been rejected a few times but not everybody is going to like you. I don’t think I am the best looking guy I have been told I am handsome and I dress well but i think it’s more about personality and confidence goes a long way and trying to find some common ground to talk about once you strike up a conversation.

I think with the wealth off online apps for dating/casual encounters more off us off the shyer variety will choose that then rather be rejected in real life.

Nights out tend to be less about pulling but it always is good to if you do they tend to be more about getting drunk with your mates and having fun in my experience.

I totally agree with the female having a guard up because they thing most men are after one thing but there are some gents left in the world out there.

We should be able to just chat to one another on a night out and get to know people because it’s good for us mentally to do so.

I might need to shrug away my shyness the next time I am out because we all have nothing to lose if we are single.

I think being confident,intelligent,witty and a gentleman are the key ingredients to having a successful conversation with anyone Male or Female when your out in a bar/pub.

Do you all agree or have anything to add? Please feel free to do so.

Thanks for bringing this up to Amanda. X
21 Nov 2017 12:31
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amanda0158 Offline
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RE: A man walks into a bar

(21 Nov 2017 12:31)Mr dominant Wrote:  This is a interesting thread.

From my own perspective it’s quite difficult to approach women on a night out since most women are in groups and even if you do get a chance to strike up a conversation the friends are always on the lookout trying to protect their friends.

Which is absolutely fair and understandable.

I am generally shy so I find it difficult to walk up and ask and strike up a conversation with somebody in a pub I have had mates telling me the girl I have talked to likes me but I don’t understand signals or believe them when they tell me my friends I believe there just winding me up.

I have been rejected a few times but not everybody is going to like you. I don’t think I am the best looking guy I have been told I am handsome and I dress well but i think it’s more about personality and confidence goes a long way and trying to find some common ground to talk about once you strike up a conversation.

I think with the wealth off online apps for dating/casual encounters more off us off the shyer variety will choose that then rather be rejected in real life.

Nights out tend to be less about pulling but it always is good to if you do they tend to be more about getting drunk with your mates and having fun in my experience.

I totally agree with the female having a guard up because they thing most men are after one thing but there are some gents left in the world out there.

We should be able to just chat to one another on a night out and get to know people because it’s good for us mentally to do so.

I might need to shrug away my shyness the next time I am out because we all have nothing to lose if we are single.

I think being confident,intelligent,witty and a gentleman are the key ingredients to having a successful conversation with anyone Male or Female when your out in a bar/pub.

Do you all agree or have anything to add? Please feel free to do so.

Thanks for bringing this up to Amanda. X
Good points there.

Also I want to add about men thinking they're ugly, looks aren't everything if you're fun to talk to then some women do find that attractive and if they're put at ease and feel relaxed around you then that's a good thing too.

Some lads say "i'm attractive" why are you still single? 
Just because of this then the lad is looking at their beauty rather than their personality or other characteristics. Just because the woman is attractive doesn't automatically mean they're going to be a bitch, or shallow.

We do have feelings too Smile

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21 Nov 2017 12:42
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