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Looking for resources Question 

Lady Phoenix Offline
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Straight
Transgender (Male to Female)

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4 / Rep: 0
Post: #1
Looking for resources

Hi guys, Im very new to this scene, i.e. writing on a public forum about my intimate desires.

I am looking for a site or sites where I can get more info, mainly about camps, groups and such forth. My current job leaves me unable to go out much (Im a live in carer). I get 3 hours a day but if I want to do anything serious I have to book time off via a holiday period.

The main things Ive explored in the past are:-

Dressing up (Im guessing thats obvious from my profile LOL)
Self Bondage (I used to have this rig consisting of various hooks, padlocks and a key on an electronic timer using a timer switch and a magnet used for fire doors).

erm, thats about it really.

I would like to explore this world more fully and/or be able to go somewhere, a safe environment, and explore whats out there a bit more. It doesnt ness. have to be a business, it could be someone I get to know and trust that can help me out (A single guy with a garage for example).

Can anyone point me in the right direction. Not sure if Ive told you enough about me, if I havent please ask questions and Ill answer as quickly as I can.
23 Mar 2014 08:41
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PinkLipstick92 Offline
Oinkie the Awesome Mod
******

Bicurious
Female

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,791 / Rep: 190
Post: #2
RE: Looking for resources

Without knowing exactly what info you are looking for its hard to answer this.
Are you wanting to learn about different kinks? Or different parts of BDSM (BD, DS, SM?)
Wanting to meet locals?

The easiest way to do all of that is to attend a play munch where you talk, observe and play should you want to.

Fetlife is very good for helping you to find local events / groups.

Heart His Little Girl Heart
23 Mar 2014 08:51
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Lady Phoenix Offline
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Transgender (Male to Female)

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4 / Rep: 0
Post: #3
RE: Looking for resources

(23 Mar 2014 08:51)PinkLipstick92 Wrote:  Without knowing exactly what info you are looking for its hard to answer this.
Are you wanting to learn about different kinks? Or different parts of BDSM (BD, DS, SM?)
Wanting to meet locals?

The easiest way to do all of that is to attend a play munch where you talk, observe and play should you want to.

Fetlife is very good for helping you to find local events / groups.

Yeah, I probably didnt explain too well.

Being "In the closet" for so long and not being able to find anyone I can talk to about Bondage and associated subjects my knowledge is very limited.

What I would ideally look for is someone I can see on a regular basis, perhaps an hour or two a week. Discuss various things, try out different things, discuss my feelings towards them, and them every now and then go out on an organised session, perhaps lasting a week or two.

In the past the biggest thing Ive done is self bondage, but only to the point if tieing myself up while dressed up in whatever I feel like at the time. The only problem with that is with my current job Im not able to do that as Im responsible for a client all of the time, other than when I have my break, in which case I can leave the house.

Does that help you at all?

Recap - I have no idea what Im into, Ive tried very little and wish to explore more fully. I dont think I would enjoy anything that involves blood or eating yucky substances, but other than that its a case of wanting to try new things to see if I enjoy it or not. Actually, pain thrills me a lot (Does that come across really badly?).
23 Mar 2014 09:21
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PinkLipstick92 Offline
Oinkie the Awesome Mod
******

Bicurious
Female

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,791 / Rep: 190
Post: #4
RE: Looking for resources

Id deffo recommend fet then. If you want to meet local people.

Obviously be careful and dont meet anyone one on one straight away.

As for not knowing what youd like, what do you fantasise about? I like reading erotic fiction too and then I start thinking about something I havent previously considered.
With Him alot of what I am exploring is things Iv always wondered about or thigs He wants me to do.
Everyone is different and what may have repulsed you beforr may turn out to be a turn on later on. Keep a list of limits amd see how they change as you explore

Heart His Little Girl Heart
23 Mar 2014 10:14
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Lady Phoenix Offline
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Transgender (Male to Female)

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 4 / Rep: 0
Post: #5
RE: Looking for resources

(23 Mar 2014 10:14)PinkLipstick92 Wrote:  Id deffo recommend fet then. If you want to meet local people.

Obviously be careful and dont meet anyone one on one straight away.

As for not knowing what youd like, what do you fantasise about? I like reading erotic fiction too and then I start thinking about something I havent previously considered.
With Him alot of what I am exploring is things Iv always wondered about or thigs He wants me to do.
Everyone is different and what may have repulsed you beforr may turn out to be a turn on later on. Keep a list of limits amd see how they change as you explore

Well, due to life events my fantasies change a lot

When I was younger I used to fantasise about being forced to wear womens clothing. Later on I came out as Trans. Im now post op so I wear womens clothing all the time. I know it sounds a bit frumpy but I love wearing dresses, tights and silky underwear, so thats what I wear all the time.

I have a thing about Ballet. I love all things Ballet, so I have a few "bedroom" items.

I sometimes read stories online, short ones. I like to read about being in a situation where I lose all self control, you know, being forced to do various things. As for what exactly, well, like I said in an earlier post, I really dont know. I suppose Id like to meet someone, establish a safe word and not know what he (or she) is going to do next, always perhaps looking to find my upper limit.

I guess my biggest problem is my low self esteem. Im so body concious and low opinionated of myself that I dont go out much. As a result I dont meet people and Ive not had a partner in over 10 years. Im not unhappy with that situation and to be frank, in my current situation, someone else in my life would just get in the way, afterall, I would only be able to see them, at best, 13:30 - 16:30 on a daily basis.

Ive had a little look at that fet site that someone posted, many thanks for that, looks like Ill be able to get something from that.

Slightly off topic, but Id like to thank the members who have made me feel welcome. In a few short hours Ive gone from making a post that I didnt say too much, because I was worried about the reply I may get, to having a forum friend, and now having the confidence to post my true inner feelings without fear. I know Im just a few words on a forum, but for me its a real step forward.

Thank you
(This post was last modified: 23 Mar 2014 10:33 by Lady Phoenix.)
23 Mar 2014 10:31
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wetwhenslippery Offline
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Gay / Lesbian
Male

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 23 / Rep: 10
Post: #6
RE: Looking for resources

I would definitely not recommend FetLife to anyone who wants to make friends.

I found it a very hardcore place when I tried it out, and it has really put me off the fetish 'community' if I'm honest.
(This post was last modified: 23 Mar 2014 10:45 by wetwhenslippery.)
23 Mar 2014 10:38
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PinkLipstick92 Offline
Oinkie the Awesome Mod
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Bicurious
Female

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,791 / Rep: 190
Post: #7
RE: Looking for resources

I didnt recommend for friends. I recommended for networking and events and learning resources.
Fet is a scary ass place at first but it gets easier and because of it I have been able to meet some really awesome people at munches and hopefully He and i will be attending demos so we can get into the shibari ropes and stuff like that Smile
But its not for everyone, same as everything in life.

Heart His Little Girl Heart
23 Mar 2014 11:01
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wetwhenslippery Offline
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Joined: Mar 2014
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Post: #8
RE: Looking for resources

(23 Mar 2014 11:01)PinkLipstick92 Wrote:  I didnt recommend for friends. I recommended for networking and events and learning resources.

I know, I was just adding my own experience to the discussion.
(This post was last modified: 23 Mar 2014 11:34 by wetwhenslippery.)
23 Mar 2014 11:09
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Pixie Offline
ProDomme "Mistress-Sin"
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Bisexual
Transgender (Male to Female)

Joined: Mar 2014
Posts: 83 / Rep: 19
Post: #9
RE: Looking for resources

Wear whatever you feel comfortable in hun :3 and although its been said, I do recommend Fetlife

"Ne me mori facias, Noli manere in memoria"
~ "Leave me not to die if I do not remain in memory" ~Myself
23 Mar 2014 11:33
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Mrs Topper Offline
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Female

Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 606 / Rep: 18
Post: #10
RE: Looking for resources

The best way to meet like-minded people is to find a munch local to you, even if it's not a play munch you can get to know people, find out about local events, parties etc. It has really opened up a whole world for me and Mr T. we have made some great friends. You should be able to find one on fetlife.
24 Mar 2014 11:40
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