How to win at that thing called life.

I’ve been spending a fair amount of time pondering this lately as I am soon to be yet another year older. The last 12 months have been turbulent for me to say the very least and led me to question everything I thought I knew. I’m happy to say I’ve reached a few conclusions and I’d like to share them with you. You may agree, disagree or just think I’m generally mad, but if it helps someone gain a bit of perspective then at least it may have achieved something.

What is life?

Is there a deep, philosophical or theological reason why we are here? I don’t believe there is. When our parents conceive us they set us on a journey – we are given no choice in this, they set the motor running and tow us along with them. Depending on circumstances and on our parents’ own journey, this may be a smooth, well-maintained road or a rocky dirt track. As children we are taken along for the ride and allowed to peer out of the windows, learning the ways of the road ahead for ourselves.

Every person’s road is different, but each one has frequent junctions where the roads of other people intersect it. Some roads will be tragically short and others will stretch out way into the distance. The thing you don’t realise until the trip is well underway is that the all the roads ultimately lead to the same place – oblivion, and that it’s not a race to get there.

This sounds grim, but in reality the fact that there is no ultimate destination doesn’t really matter. The journey is all there is and so you have to appreciate it for what it is.

So how can you win a journey that’s not a race?

Like any road trip, many things can influence how the journey goes. The comfort of your vehicle, the quality of the road and the other travellers you encounter on the way.

Some of your journey may be filled with joyous songs and laughter; full of wonder at the sights you see along the way. Some of your journey will be full of misery, fist-shaking road rage and monotony.

Unfortunately, there is no map or sat-nav available on this trip and each junction we take has to be considered carefully. Choose the junctions that will bring the most happiness to you and those around you, make the journey long and see as many of the incredible tourist attractions as you possibly can.

A good journey is one where the former joy has outweighed the latter misery.

A winning journey is one where you have had a good journey and also been a good driver.

A good driver will be considerate and ensure the safety of other road users, help other travellers who have lost their way or broken down and allow people their right of way where your roads cross.

A bad driver will drive recklessly and put others at risk, shout and swear at people who get in their way, have no regard for other people who must travel alongside them for a while. The worst drivers will blame other motorists for their own errors, deliberately give people the wrong directions to clear the road ahead for themselves. They will lie and cheat in an attempt to win a race that doesn’t exist.

When your journey does finally end, consider not where you arrived, but how you got there and how many other travellers’ trips you made easier or more enjoyable.

Personally I would consider myself a contender. My journey hasn’t been perfect - I have taken some badly judged turnings and caused more than a few dents, but my L plates are off now so I have no more excuses. My driving is improving and I am learning the right roads to take. I am trying to tow people along in my slipstream when I can, give them directions if they are lost and help make their trip a bit less tedious. I hope to have a place on the podium as a winner when the journey ends, and to have my friends standing right there beside me.

You may meet me on the road some day. My vehicle has THELEMA written on the sides and the number 93 on the bonnet.

Wow Topper brilliant mate

How could I have won ? Not married the woman I did

Who's saying you've lost Brox?

At the risk of going overboard with analogies...

It's never too late to take a different lane or even a u-turn as long as you check your blind spots. Maybe the road you are on is a tough one but with something special waiting just round the corner. There is no guidebook sadly, only (as far as I am concerned) a highway code. If your road is going nowhere all I'd suggest is either put your foot down and reach the end of that particular road one way or the other, or take the next exit and start a new one.

I'll second that, it's never too late. I've had a couple of times in my life where I've needed to turn everything around and re-invent myself. You get stuck in a rut or just put up with things that make you miserable - sticking with things or people that bring you no joy are in my opinion a waste of time.

Mr and Mrs T

A bit of an over reaction from me - very down yesterday

I do love my wife been married over 25 years. 2 grown kids, moved from London to Scotland as she wanted to 5 years ago, result, have no friends here NEVER go out maybe 3 nights in those five years. No mutual friends

As you say Topper its a long road and sometimes people change. Shes one of these people not interested in anything really. Our sex life has dwindled due to I admit boredom on my part, sex was, lights out blanket up to her neck missionary position, all over fag sleep - a job done. Tied to change, bought so much lingerie for her, most of it never worn (well all actually) mentioned other things but to her sex is about the act nothing more

But sex is not everything in a marriage (although I obsesse about it knowing its a cause of unhappiness). I will be honest having my head turned reading this forum and being part of it. People here are so ... well, bloody kinky !! love it. I would love the same but I bought the car, drove down the road so my choice I guess

Sorry if I sound a twat but you took the time to reply so thought I would acknowledge my appreciation you did

Topper - brilliant forum mate, Mrs Topper your beautifull you make a lovely couple and are obviously so happy ... good luck to you

I too believe life is a journey and that the quality of that adventure is down to our own interpretation but I also believe it's more than that.. Life, in itself, amongst all living things is magic, science can still not explain exactly what life is. All life on earth is interlinked, each life having a direct impact on those close to them.. I don't believe we came from nothing and to nothing we return, but I also don't believe we are created in the biblical sense either .. There is so much yet to be discovered and so much magic left to explore, I don't believe it's as simple as a journey, if we open our eyes to the natural world around us we will see that we are only a part of something much greater and something , that if science were to eventually be able to explain I feel would lose it's magic..
Your life is an adventure, full of wonder and curiosity, but how you interpret that is down to how wide you open your mind..

(26 Feb 2014 10:29)Muskynuts Wrote:  I too believe life is a journey and that the quality of that adventure is down to our own interpretation but I also believe it's more than that.. Life, in itself, amongst all living things is magic, science can still not explain exactly what life is. All life on earth is interlinked, each life having a direct impact on those close to them.. I don't believe we came from nothing and to nothing we return, but I also don't believe we are created in the biblical sense either .. There is so much yet to be discovered and so much magic left to explore, I don't believe it's as simple as a journey, if we open our eyes to the natural world around us we will see that we are only a part of something much greater and something , that if science were to eventually be able to explain I feel would lose it's magic..
Your life is an adventure, full of wonder and curiosity, but how you interpret that is down to how wide you open your mind..

I know what you mean on the greater, perhaps more spiritual scale of things. The unknown is infinite and therefore offers infinite possibilities.

One of the things I've always considered is that, if your dead body was preserved and fired out into deep space, assuming that it wasn't destroyed and that time never ends, there's statistically a 100% chance that you would be discovered by another form of intelligent life at some point.

(26 Feb 2014 10:49)Topper Wrote:  

(26 Feb 2014 10:29)Muskynuts Wrote:  I too believe life is a journey and that the quality of that adventure is down to our own interpretation but I also believe it's more than that.. Life, in itself, amongst all living things is magic, science can still not explain exactly what life is. All life on earth is interlinked, each life having a direct impact on those close to them.. I don't believe we came from nothing and to nothing we return, but I also don't believe we are created in the biblical sense either .. There is so much yet to be discovered and so much magic left to explore, I don't believe it's as simple as a journey, if we open our eyes to the natural world around us we will see that we are only a part of something much greater and something , that if science were to eventually be able to explain I feel would lose it's magic..
Your life is an adventure, full of wonder and curiosity, but how you interpret that is down to how wide you open your mind..

I know what you mean on the greater, perhaps more spiritual scale of things. The unknown is infinite and therefore offers infinite possibilities.

One of the things I've always considered is that, if your dead body was preserved and fired out into deep space, assuming that it wasn't destroyed and that time never ends, there's statistically a 100% chance that you would be discovered by another form of intelligent life at some point.

I know what you mean but I hesitate to use the term 'spiritual' as it has different connotations to different people.. And that's an amazing thought about sending your body into space but there's only a chance of it being discovered if there are actually other life forms out there..