UK Sex Forum
Looking for guidance on where to start - Printable Version

+- UK Sex Forum (
+-- Forum: BDSM, Spanking & Fetish Forums (/forum-35.html)
+--- Forum: Dominance and Submission (/forum-38.html)
+--- Thread: Looking for guidance on where to start (/thread-1669.html)

Looking for guidance on where to start - Lady Zith - 24 Dec 2014 20:58

Hi. I'm new to this site so please forgive me if I'm posting in the wrong section. I'm looking for some guidance please.

I've spent the last 21 years in 2 successive very "normal" relationships. My more recent ex had some issues with sex so basically we didn't. He couldn't cope with anything non mainstream. A month ago I completely relocated area to a city where I don't know anyone, and am loving being me on my own terms for the first time.

What this means is I'm finally working out what I want for myself - and I'm really interested in the dom/sub scene. My problem is I just don't know where to start. I've found a fetish club locally but not sure how it would go if I just turned up on my own. The other key thing is I really don't know if I'm more dom or sub. I love the "being controlled" fantasy (male, female or both), but my natural inclination in life is to take control so I don't know if this would work? I enjoy some pain (I really get off on having ink done), but I also really enjoy going out as a vampire / goth queen with the attitude of being superior and aloof. (This is a fairly normal night out approach for me - I enjoy the sense of being adored but untouchable)

Ideally what I'd like is a teacher who would work with me to help me explore & see what I'm comfortable with - but I have no idea whether this is the sort of thing anyone would be prepared to do. I don't even know if it would be reasonable to ask.

So I guess for a complete newbie I'm after some advice on where to start, bearing in mind I'm single & don't know anyone here. Happy to answer any questions if I've not given enough relevant info.

Thank you.

RE: Looking for guidance on where to start - Wolfman - 25 Dec 2014 08:52

Welcome and indeed good luck with your kinky journey (ooh and happy holidays too)

Have a look at fetlife, there's bound to be a local munch near you soon, where you can go and meet local kinksters, over a safe social setting.

I'm sure you'll find a lot of assistance to help you a long the way Smile

RE: Looking for guidance on where to start - PinkLipstick92 - 27 Dec 2014 13:12

Welcome Smile

I also recommend fetlife, its a great place for networking and meeting people. As for rocking up on your own to a fet club, don't worry about it, most of them (if not all) will show you around and possibly introduce you to some regulars if you're new. And after that its up to you what happens Smile