A man walks into a bar

I remember i asked a girl out years ago. She was nice we were meeting socially for a while and got on well. I asked her out and she turned me down, no big dea. At this point i had moved on and accepted i had misread the signals, i said fine its no big deal lets carry on as were. I was not falling in love with her but thought we had some potential.

Anyway she would not stop apologising to me for the rejection to the point i avoided her from then on as i started to think she was a bit of a twat. I think she thought i adored her i did not.

Everything in life is a numbers game the more people you ask out the more chances you have of getting what you want. If someone asks you out it also does not mean someone is head over heels as that takes time, it just means they like talking to yoy and fancy you. Adoration without knowing someone can sometimes be a flag up to an internal worrry or insecurity

(21 Nov 2017 12:42)amanda0158 Wrote:  

(21 Nov 2017 12:31)Mr dominant Wrote:  This is a interesting thread.

From my own perspective it’s quite difficult to approach women on a night out since most women are in groups and even if you do get a chance to strike up a conversation the friends are always on the lookout trying to protect their friends.

Which is absolutely fair and understandable.

I am generally shy so I find it difficult to walk up and ask and strike up a conversation with somebody in a pub I have had mates telling me the girl I have talked to likes me but I don’t understand signals or believe them when they tell me my friends I believe there just winding me up.

I have been rejected a few times but not everybody is going to like you. I don’t think I am the best looking guy I have been told I am handsome and I dress well but i think it’s more about personality and confidence goes a long way and trying to find some common ground to talk about once you strike up a conversation.

I think with the wealth off online apps for dating/casual encounters more off us off the shyer variety will choose that then rather be rejected in real life.

Nights out tend to be less about pulling but it always is good to if you do they tend to be more about getting drunk with your mates and having fun in my experience.

I totally agree with the female having a guard up because they thing most men are after one thing but there are some gents left in the world out there.

We should be able to just chat to one another on a night out and get to know people because it’s good for us mentally to do so.

I might need to shrug away my shyness the next time I am out because we all have nothing to lose if we are single.

I think being confident,intelligent,witty and a gentleman are the key ingredients to having a successful conversation with anyone Male or Female when your out in a bar/pub.

Do you all agree or have anything to add? Please feel free to do so.

Thanks for bringing this up to Amanda. X

Good points there.

Also I want to add about men thinking they're ugly, looks aren't everything if you're fun to talk to then some women do find that attractive and if they're put at ease and feel relaxed around you then that's a good thing too.

Some lads say "i'm attractive" why are you still single? 
Just because of this then the lad is looking at their beauty rather than their personality or other characteristics. Just because the woman is attractive doesn't automatically mean they're going to be a bitch, or shallow.

We do have feelings too

It’s ture what you brought up but we do live in a very judgmental world unfortunately.

A lot off people are to quick to judge each other which is not good there is more to a person then looks but obviously that is a part off things to if your not sexually attracted to someone then there is no point the brain is the biggest sexual organ no matter what anything else says.

If you can stimulate a women’s mind then everything else follows.

I wouldn’t say I was the best looking guy but I don’t think I am the worse looking guy either.

I believe that personality lasts and looks fade you could be the most beautiful person in the world but If your personality stinks then nobody will like you.

I think it’s more about personality and being a gentleman and a good sense off humour when you start a conversation with a woman at a bar or club etc.

Being myself means not being confident.
Catch 66 and my solution: Stay away from people alltogether. Problem solved, less stress

(21 Nov 2017 15:24)naughty69 Wrote:  I remember i asked a girl out years ago.  She was nice we were meeting socially for a while and got on well.  I asked her out and she turned me down, no big dea. At this point  i had moved on and  accepted i had misread  the signals, i said fine its no big deal lets carry on as were. I was not falling in love with her but thought we had some potential.

Anyway she would not stop apologising to me for the rejection to the point i avoided her from then on as i started to think she was a bit of a twat. I think she thought i adored her i did not.

Everything in life is a numbers game the more people you ask out the more chances you have of getting what you want. If someone asks you out it also does not mean someone is head over heels as that takes time, it just means they like talking to yoy and fancy you. Adoration without knowing someone  can sometimes be a flag up to an internal worrry or insecurity

Really well put and think important to remember, just be nice people but be honest too. And don't get too arrogant or think just because someone has taken a fancy to you you are gods gift or letting them down terribly if you say no 

I do get approached a fair bit when out with friends and suchlike, having the wedding ring is obviously handy to have and lets people know where they stand without being rude about it. 

I would say most important thing over looks/body is to have a good sense of humour, if you make me laugh I'll instantly be 10 times more attracted to you. Then I need to show you the wedding ring and scarper. 

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Sorry if that's a bit rambly and nonsensical. I am in my bed dying from a chest infection and feeling a bit fuzzy of head.

(21 Nov 2017 19:00)kingDoms_sub Wrote:  

(21 Nov 2017 15:24)naughty69 Wrote:  I remember i asked a girl out years ago.  She was nice we were meeting socially for a while and got on well.  I asked her out and she turned me down, no big dea. At this point  i had moved on and  accepted i had misread  the signals, i said fine its no big deal lets carry on as were. I was not falling in love with her but thought we had some potential.

Anyway she would not stop apologising to me for the rejection to the point i avoided her from then on as i started to think she was a bit of a twat. I think she thought i adored her i did not.

Everything in life is a numbers game the more people you ask out the more chances you have of getting what you want. If someone asks you out it also does not mean someone is head over heels as that takes time, it just means they like talking to yoy and fancy you. Adoration without knowing someone  can sometimes be a flag up to an internal worrry or insecurity

Really well put and think important to remember, just be nice people but be honest too. And don't get too arrogant or think just because someone has taken a fancy to you you are gods gift or letting them down terribly if you say no 

I do get approached a fair bit when out with friends and suchlike, having the wedding ring is obviously handy to have and lets people know where they stand without being rude about it. 

I would say most important thing over looks/body is to have a good sense of humour, if you make me laugh I'll instantly be 10 times more attracted to you. Then I need to show you the wedding ring and scarper. 

---

Sorry if that's a bit rambly and nonsensical. I am in my bed dying from a chest infection and feeling a bit fuzzy of head.

That is fine

A dyslexic walks into a bra!

I'd say that keeping a lady smiling is the best policy. And maybe something mildly controversial to keep a good conversation going, but nothing too heavy.

(24 Nov 2017 23:21)Jb6969 Wrote:  A dyslexic walks into a bra!

I'd say that keeping a lady smiling is the best policy. And maybe something mildly controversial to keep a good conversation going, but nothing too heavy.

Haha Love it

(24 Nov 2017 23:21)Jb6969 Wrote:  A dyslexic walks into a bra!

I'd say that keeping a lady smiling is the best policy. And maybe something mildly controversial to keep a good conversation going, but nothing too heavy.

Totally agree. I love a guy who makes me laugh.

I’ve never really been into pulling in bars/clubs. I’ve always made connections in other ways probably because I’m a bit shy.

I prefer getting to know someone, feeling out the connection and making a move or not depending on how close we become. The whole pulling in a club thing feels a little shallow and unrewarding. I want more than just that physical connection in a place where you have to guess every third word. For me my arousal is 90% in the mind, obviously there has to be physical desire but it’s such a small part.

In our modern dating landscape if pulling or starting a conversation in a club/pub isn’t for you...don’t do it. You lose nothing by not doing something that doesn’t suit your style of attracting a mate. Understanding ones strengths and focusing on the things we do well is ultimately far better than trying to conform to an archaic method of dating.

For me leaving the club/pub pulling for those with superficial and narsasistic tendencies is liberating and a far better way to find someone that will more likely be right for me.

On the flipside, me and KD met in a club