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Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

kingDoms_sub Offline
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Post: #1
Rainbow Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

The importance of spanking

(It’s probably not what you think)


I realise there are countless stories and blogs out there about what spanking does for an individual. Despite that I still want to get my personal thoughts down in writing, in no small part due to feeling a desire to explain why we do it. Spanking seems to be pretty commonplace in my knowledge-sphere, to the point where perhaps to some it’s not considered a kink as such but rather just a slightly kinky aspect of vanilla life and love.
I’m not going to go over our full history with D/s and BDSM here (maybe another day) but potted background is – D/s very much suits our natural dynamic and personalities, and BDSM has always been a feature. It’s only this year, however, we started to label it as such and adopt it as our lifestyle. Best decision ever, I have to say. Our relationship has benefitted immeasurably.
So, spanking. I’ve always enjoyed it but in the past it’s been playful, part of sex and not particularly painful. With the development of our D/s dynamic came many many discussions about what we wanted, what different aspects meant to each of us individually, and as a couple, and things we wanted to develop, try and experience. Communication is key, by the way. Seems obvious, but it’s taken us a long time to be able to be as open and frank with each other as we are now – and I always thought we weren’t bad about talking things through - but it just shows there is always room for improvement. I digress – from many of these conversations came my desire to be spanked. Properly. Painfully… leaving marks and bruises. I read a lot on the topic, how cathartic it could be and it’s ability to enable the release of tension and pent up emotion. All this as well as being a turn on? Say no more and get your paddles ready!
This desire to be spanked more and harder wasn’t just new for me; it was new for DB too.  Although he is definitely getting in touch with his inner primal sadist as time goes on, it’s a learning experience for him too. Being naturally Dominant doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know, and don’t have anything to learn.  These things take time to develop, especially when men have society’s expectations thrust upon you from an early age about how you should and shouldn’t treat your partner in direct competition with what your partner is telling you they desire.  It’s a journey and it feels like we have barely taken our first baby steps at the moment.
In giddy excitement we got started. A few nice, sore-ish spanking followed by some of the best fucking of my life. All very enjoyable, indeed. Then came an altogether new experience. One afternoon DB came home early from work. He told me what he wanted me to wear and I knew (or thought I knew) straight away what was in store. Silky nightie, hold ups and his favourite pair of panties. He came home, sat on the sofa and put me over his knee for the first time – the majority of spankings up to this point had been with me on all fours. This alone was an exhilarating development and to this day over the knee is my favourite position to be spanked in. The added human touch and being able to feel his cock harden under me just adds to the experience. Something about dishing out a dose of pain does make his cock respond rather pleasingly.
I remember that day the sun was streaming in through the window over me, as he heated my arse up in an entirely different way. Using only his hand and his strength he spanked me beautifully and I began to feel my mind detach from my body and float off into the stratosphere. Sweat beaded on my brow as I left reality behind, and my buttocks started to numb from the strikes, allowing me to take more, prolonging this feeling of unreality. It was, truthfully, amazing. After we fucked, I was absolutely exhausted to the core – a normal comedown from the endorphin rush, I know now. At the time I didn’t understand what was happening - instinctively, he held me close and stroked my hair as I drifted off to sleep. This was everything I had wanted, without realising it.
After this experience we investigated what had happened and discovered it sounded like I had achieved subspace. As with everything, we read up and learned how to deal with the comedown afterwards, and the importance of aftercare. Up to this point I’d only ever seen the term on a few forums and groups not really understanding what it was but I realised quickly this was what I had experienced that sunny afternoon. I now call this type of spanking “therapy sessions” because they really do allow me to release and transcend reality to a point. Not all spankings are the same of course. There are the quick swats to remind me who DB is. There are the ones that are most definitely a prelude to a good fucking. There are “maintenance” spankings, if we’ve not had a chance to have a good session for a while. And there are therapy spankings. These are the least common ones for me, and often they aren’t begun with the intention of being therapeutic – it all depends how I react and possibly my mental state at that time. Each type of spanking has its place in our relationship, and they are all very special. The level of pain too, does not directly correlate with the type of spanking I have - the sorest spanking to date (the car session, which I may write about if anyone is interested), did not result in achieving subspace but did result in a very exciting experience and some lovely bruises.
And this, hopefully, explains a little about why spankings are important to us but in particular, they mean a lot to me. It’s one of the ways DB shows me how much he loves me but even more importantly – that he listens to me. Not just in the words I say, but listening to my body and responding to its needs.

Heart
24 Nov 2017 10:31
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Wolfman Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

I'm not in to pain or anything, but I had a wonderful spanking and bondage session with a play partner earlier in the year..

certainly something I'd welcome again, both as the spanker and spankee!
24 Nov 2017 10:35
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kingDoms_sub Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

Sounds like you are a wee bit into pain, Wolfie Wink

Heart
24 Nov 2017 10:39
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F6C Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

Thx for sharing this KDS - very enlightening for someone like me who's never consider doing this....
24 Nov 2017 12:03
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kingDoms_sub Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

Thanks F6C - I do think there are some negative preconceptions about it so wanted to show that it can be a big positive and isn't all about the spanker wanted to hurt the spankee!

Oh, I've added some spanking pics to the members gallery if anyone is interested - though about posting them here but thought it was very much a case of my kink may not be yours, so this leaves a bit of choice for those not interested in the visuals.

Heart
(This post was last modified: 24 Nov 2017 12:14 by kingDoms_sub.)
24 Nov 2017 12:05
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BrokenEye Offline
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RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

(24 Nov 2017 12:05)kingDoms_sub Wrote:  Thanks F6C - I do think there are some negative preconceptions about it so wanted to show that it can be a big positive and isn't all about the spanker wanted to hurt the spankee!

Oh, I've added some spanking pics to the members gallery if anyone is interested - though about posting them here but thought it was very much a case of my kink may not be yours, so this leaves a bit of choice for those not interested in the visuals.
I have a good friend who has lived this lifestyle for nearly 40 years now, and I get a basic Idea of how the dynamic works, and the D of the coupling has to know their partner very well indeed to prevent any unpleasant side effects, the Sub Drop she calls it, or coming down to earth by crashlanding, from my limited understanding, its playing with somebodys internal chemistry set, get it right they can fly for hours, get it wrong and they can crash and burn, and it does go some way to describing the pleasure/pain barrier, trust is the number one requirement She says and I can believe that, indulged in the lighter side of that with my ex, she was a closet rope bunny Big Grin sensation was a main part of that , I couldn't administer the Wartenberg pinwheel, but Ice and hot wax I could and did, I just know that is a complex arrangement, but some people love it....
24 Nov 2017 12:43
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kingDom Offline
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RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

One of the fun elements for me is pushing the boundaries and seeing how much I can get her to take. She’s doing very well and can definitely do more now, although I do need to careful not to push too hard. When she asks to stop there can be a (to me, perhaps naively) fine line between playfully protesting and wanting more, and actually protesting because it’s too much.

Also the aftercare is another area I need to be mindful of. Not every spanking will result in a drop, but I need to pick up when it does and do the things she likes... stroke her head, cuddle, brush her hair, go for a nap, etc.
(This post was last modified: 24 Nov 2017 14:13 by kingDom.)
24 Nov 2017 14:12
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F6C Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

I think it's great you guys are pushing the boundaries in your sex life and both enjoying the journey. Long may it continue!
24 Nov 2017 14:23
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Voshigirl Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

That is a wonderful explanation of your emotions. Not to dissimilar to my own.

Please read my BIO.
24 Nov 2017 16:44
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BrokenEye Offline
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RE: Spank you very much - a little bit of why we spank!

(24 Nov 2017 14:12)kingDom Wrote:  One of the fun elements for me is pushing the boundaries and seeing how much I can get her to take. She’s doing very well and can definitely do more now, although I do need to careful not to push too hard.  When she asks to stop there can be a (to me, perhaps naively) fine line between playfully protesting and wanting more, and actually protesting because it’s too much.

Also the aftercare is another area I need to be mindful of.  Not every spanking will result in a drop, but I need to pick up when it does and do the things she likes... stroke her head, cuddle, brush her hair, go for a nap, etc.
safe words are used quite a lot, words that don't come up in conversations too often, seems like you have most angles covered there Smile
24 Nov 2017 16:52
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